Always Rushing? How to Slow Down and Reduce Stress

I first heard the term Rushing Woman Syndrome when a good friend lent me Dr Libby Weaver’s book, Rushing Woman’s Syndrome.

At the time, I didn’t really resonate with it.  Now?  It’s me to a capital T.

The idea is essentially about what happens when women live in a constant state of rushing, stress and pressure, and how that can affect our energy, nervous system, sleep and overall wellbeing.

And I wonder…

Are you trapped in the cycle of “doing, doing, doing”?

Maybe you even describe yourself as an “active relaxer” - someone who finds it hard to truly stop.

You might be relaxing on the couch, but you’re scrolling your phone.

Walking, but listening to a podcast.

Watching TV, but folding laundry at the same time.

Resting… but feeling guilty for doing it.

I saw a video earlier this year that perfectly captured this.  A woman was briskly walking down her hallway, determination written all over her face. Then she stopped.  She became aware of how she was moving.

She asked herself why she was rushing, and then she consciously slowed down.  Her pace changed, her face softened and she looked calmer.

It made me think about how often we move through our days like this without even realising it.

What is all this rushing costing us?  When your body is constantly responding to pressure, your stress response can stay switched on for much of the day.

And you may start noticing things like:

• Feeling tired but wired at night - struggling to switch your brain off

• Waking frequently or finding it difficult to get back to sleep

• Craving sugar or salty, crunchy foods

• Feeling anxious or overwhelmed

• Having a constantly racing mind

• Feeling like you’re walking through mud because your energy is so low

• Finding your perimenopause symptoms feel harder to manage when you're stressed and depleted and that can be because your body is busy making cortisol instead of your sex hormones.

  
  

And perhaps the biggest cost is that rushing becomes your normal.  We convince ourselves that this is just what life looks like now.  The responsibilities keep growing and the list never ends.

And somewhere along the way, calmness starts to feel like a luxury we simply don't have time for.

But what if we got curious about the rushing?

What is the rushing protecting you from?

This is where it gets really interesting, because sometimes rushing isn't actually about having too much to do.

It can be a pattern we've developed to help us feel safe, needed, successful or in control.

For me, I realised that rushing was partly protecting me from the belief that I wasn't good enough.

If I was constantly achieving, doing, helping and staying busy, perhaps I wouldn't have to face that uncomfortable feeling of not being enough or worrying that was exactly what people thought of me.

And maybe you have your own version of this.  Perhaps slowing down makes you feel lazy or stopping makes you feel guilty.  Perhaps being unproductive makes you question your worth or if you're not doing something for someone else, you don't know what to do with yourself.

These patterns can begin when we're young, shaped by our experiences in particular our relationship with our parents and the ways we learned to gain approval, feel loved or feel safe.  But the safety system that helped us then may not be the one we need now.

So how do we change it?  Start with awareness.

The next time you notice yourself rushing:

Stop.  Take a breath and ask yourself:

Why am I rushing?

Can I slow down?

What am I afraid will happen if I don't?

What is this rushing protecting me from?

Over time, those little moments can help you move from automatically rushing through your life to consciously choosing how you want to live it.  So perhaps the question isn't:

“Am I a Rushing Woman?”

Perhaps it's:

“Who do I want to be instead?”

The woman who is always rushing, doing and pushing, or………..

The woman who feels safe enough to slow down, be present and live her life with more calm and intention?

I know which one I'm choosing.

If you're ready to stop constantly rushing and start feeling more calm, energised and in control, I'd love to help.  Book a complimentary 30-minute discovery chat with me and let's talk about where you are now and how I can support you https://calendly.com/micaela-bewelllivewell/30min